As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
