why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize