I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
So here I am, sexting at work.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
