Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
