Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
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He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
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My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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