You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
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He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
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That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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