Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.