your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
