I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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