Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
