Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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