What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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