Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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