its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
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I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
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I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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