your thong is hanging out like whoa
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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