you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
