Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
