im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize