"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize