The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
