Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
