We won't sleep together?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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