Sponge bath it is.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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