he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I want her autograph on my taint
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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