He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
