is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
