Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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