Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
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