Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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