Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
