Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
