P.S. I can't hear my feet
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
