I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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