I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Less talking, more tequila
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
