the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
