he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
