weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She announced her abortion via fbk
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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