Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
