No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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