We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
