This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
