Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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