Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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