is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
