I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize