he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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