I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
