is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
