Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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