also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
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4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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