I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
