I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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