I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
