He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
