Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
