he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Are we still banned from the library?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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