dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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