No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
