1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
