I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me that man meat
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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