No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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